withness noun

with•ness

the quality of being with another while being with self, with others and with God evidenced by intentionally practicing presence, emotional intimacy, vulnerability, curiosity, and compassion.

Welcome

Thanks for visiting my website. Selecting your counselor is a decision to engage a new relationship to discuss very vulnerable parts of yourself and your story and so, I encourage you to learn more about me. I hope I am the right fit for you, but even if I’m not, feel free to reach out and I would be happy to connect you to another counselor. I enjoy sharing what I know about counseling and connecting people to the person that best meets their needs.

Withness Counseling is an outpost of beauty and goodness born out of my own personal growth and healing journey that started in a counseling room 18 years ago. That journey led me back to school at 47 years old to get my Master of Arts in Counseling. I’m honored that you are here and are considering working with me.

Defining withness

Withness is the quality of being with another while intentionally practicing presence, emotional intimacy, vulnerability, curiosity, and compassion with others, with God and with self. Withness provides a felt sense of being seen, heard and understood.

My desire is to practice consistently and persistently entering and engaging with you and your story with curiosity, compassion, and thoughtfulness in such a way that you can begin to be with and stay with yourself while being with others. In order to be with others fully, it is helpful to understand yourself more fully, accept and be kind to yourself in relation to any personal limitations, celebrate your giftings and begin to move with and in freedom in Christ. Withness allows you to risk desiring again or maybe for the first time. Withness allows you to live a more integrated life – a life marked by alignment in what you do, what you feel and what you think.

As much as I want to offer you withness, I want to also help you engage in practicing withness for yourself and in your other relationships. Practice is essential. In counseling, you will have the opportunity to practice how to be with yourself, with me, with others and with God.  I take the time to know you and the main characters in your story, past, present and future.

I believe understanding our story and changing how we experience our story is crucial for each of us to reclaim our essential identity and go on to create our own personal brand of beauty and goodness in the world.

“even though you cannot change the events of your story, you can change the way you experience your story.”

— Curt Thompson

Core Values

Christ-centered

I work with clients from a variety of backgrounds, values and belief systems. I personally live my life from a distinctly Christian perspective doing my best on any given day to practice loving and being with God, others and self. There are many days that it takes incredible effort to maintain my own personal convictions that Jesus is real and that God is truly loving. For more than half my life I lived apart from God, not knowing Him relationally. I share this for you to know, I can readily be with and for you regardless of your belief system. My educational training meets all the requirements for Florida licensure and my personal training and life experience has equipped me to find compassion and truly be with and for others, regardless of where they find themselves on this journey of living. I will respect your values and beliefs and together we will explore the best combination of secular theory and Christian framework.

Story

You are the leading actor in your story. Do you know your story? You story was being written by others before you were born and has been told countless times by you and others with or without your conscious awareness. I believe how we feel and experience our stories and then tell our stories, to ourselves and others, matters significantly and shapes how we think of ourselves and others. I desire to help you know, process and tell your story more truthfully.

Seen, soothed, safe and secure

For counseling to progress in a helpful direction, it is imperative that you feel seen, soothed, safe and secure in the counseling relationship. You set the pace, you determine your treatment goals and you are empowered and encouraged to review how your sessions are going on a regular basis with your counselor and adjust the pacing to meet your needs.

Repair

In every relationship, attunement is the goal. If you are in relationship long enough with someone, even a counselor, rupture is a likely to be a part of the relationship. Rupture can be small or big and includes any moment of mis-attunement or disconnection. I strive to be a safe place for you to experience, experiment and practice rupture and repair. Before anything else, I am a human with limitations and so my hope is to model healthy rupture and repair in our work together.

Continuing education and supervision

I am in process and always will be. Healing is not a destination, it is an on-going journey and so, I continue to place a high value on my personal counseling, continuing education and on-going supervision with peers and other counselors/supervisors ahead of me on the journey.